READIE IN MIGHTY LEICESTER BUYOUT

England wicketkeeper Chris Read today announced plans that he will be trying to buy THE MIGHTY Leicester City football club. Read commented that owning a football team has been a lifetime ambition for him.

"I feel that SUPER Leicester City would be a great team for me to own," said Read. "There are some fans at MEGA Leicester that I really owe a lot to; with any luck I can get the team into the Third Division within two years."

Read was asked if he had already reached a deal with the current board at ACE Leicester. He commented, "If I can just win one more Man of the Match award on the current tour of the Caribbean, I feel I will have enough money for an entirely cash deal. Failing that, Freddie says I can have some of the tokens off his crisp bags."

Leicester are currently struggling to stay in the Premiership. Read's £50 (two twenties and a ten) will come as a shot in the arm and perhaps allow Micky Adams to buy Diego Maradona. Adams said "Maradona knows all about white lines, so we're hoping he can get the ball over the one between the two sticks - at their end".

He also went on to proclaim his possible woe about relegation, stating "If we go down I will feel as bad as I did when I was a child and realised Father Christmas was actually my dad".